Managing Conflict

Conflict will arise in any relationship. My husband and I both have a lot on our plates.  He is starting his career as a real-estate agent while staying home and raising our son. I am working full time, getting my masters and finding the balancing act between wife and mother. Needless to say, our tempers have been short and we have had conflict as our stress levels rise.  As I have read the course resources this week two techniques I have found useful is practicing non-violent communication and finding a compromise. Last week my husband assessed me on my communication style. According to his results, he feels I sometimes blur the line between attacking the person vs. the issue. Using the strategies within non-violent communication has caused me to be more aware of how I communicating. I believe compromise is one of the best options when resolving conflict. Each person has to give a little while still feeling validated and respected.  I have used these strategies this week and have found success. J

Communication Skills and Styles

I scored a 49 in the communication anxiety category. This puts me at the moderate level. I have always struggled with being anxious in front of a small group or when speaking publicly. I do better in a one to one setting. One thing that surprised me was that both my husband and dad thought I was comfortable speaking in public. My husband put me in the low category and my dad in the mild. One theory I have on this is that my personality is outgoing and I comfortable talking to new people. Because of this they assumed I was comfortable talking in front of a group.

I scored a 64 on the Verbal Aggression Scale. This put me in the moderate category. My dad assessed me in the same category. However, my husband put me in the significant. I have thought a lot about this section. My dad and I have similar personality and communication styles, however, my husband and I are different in the way we communicate.  He is more laid back where I need to talk it through and have closure.

Finally, I am people oriented on the listening styles profile. My husband and dad both assessed me in this category as well.

My dad made the comment that I choose two men to assess me in the communication skills. I have since wondered if a woman would have had similar or different results.

After reflecting on these results, I want to continue to take on projects that challenge my fear or public speaking. I want to make a stronger effort to speak out during our team meetings or trainings I may attend. I also want to be more aware of my husbands’ communication style and how my directedness may hurt his feelings.

Communicating within diversity

I experience cultural differences on a daily basis. I work with families whose children are considered high risk for special education. My colleagues come from different educational backgrounds and my friends have varying political and religious views.  All of these factors can make communicating effectively a challenge. I do believe I communicate differently depending on the context and situation I am. For example, when interacting with colleagues I am professional and straightforward. Many would consider me serious. However, when I am communicating with my friends I have a totally different style. I am more laid back and comfortable expressing how I feel without any fear.

Considering the cultural differences I experience the three strategies I would use to help communicate more effectively would be to consider and use the platinum rule with all my interactions. Second, I need to have empathy. I am working with families who are learning to cope with their children’s special needs. As an effective communicator I need to draw on my own experiences to better relate. Finally, I need to make sure I am actively listening in all contexts.

Communication within television

My husband recently became a real estate agent. Real-estate is his passion and plays a big role in the types of shows we watch. There is a plethora of ‘home shows’ including House Hunters, Love it or List it, Million dollar listings and Property Brothers. As the supportive wife, I have been started watching these shows with him. One of the new shows we started watching is Property Brothers.

The premise of the show is brothers’ Drew and Jonathan Scott find couples that want to buy a house that is out of their price range. They convince them a fixer upper is the way to go. The show follows the challenges and benefits of doing a renovation.

When I watched the show with no sound I realized how much of an impact nonverbal communication has on communication. The facial expressions of the couples said a lot. For example, when they went into the decoy home the facial expressions were of excitement and awe until they realized the home wasn’t affordable and the instant shift to disappointment and anger when they realized they couldn’t afford the home. Watching the process of renovating the home I could tell through the body language and expressions what they couples were feeling. It was often a rollercoaster of ups and downs between excitement and frustration/anger.

Watching the show with sound made me more aware of how nonverbal and verbal communication goes together and can contradict each other. For example, the couple’s non-verbal communication was clearly showing excitement and the verbal communication supported that. However, there was an situation during the renovation when the body language of the couple clearly showed anger and defensiveness but the verbal language was contradicting that.

Watching the show with both the sound on and off made me more aware of the detail involved in communication. I often listen to what is being said rather than paying attention to the non-verbal cues. This assignment made me focus more on the message nonverbal communication rather than verbal language.

           

Effective C ommunication

Effective communication skills are important when running an organization. The director of the company I work for has these skills. When I was first hired I went through orientation. My director, David, spoke to the group the first day. He was clear when describing his expectations of us. He spoke eloquently and was prepared while remaining lighthearted and entertaining. He was motivational, encouraging and uplifting. Since then I have listened to him speak on more than one occasion and I experience the same thing. He listens when someone asks a question, answers it completely while remaining respectful. I would model my communication behaviors after David. He is effective, respectful and prepared in his communication. He is engaging and motivational. His ability to communicate with several different disciplines on the same topic is a great skill. These are skills I strive to have when I communicate with others.

Professional Hopes and Goals

One hope that I have when working with children and families from diverse backgrounds is that I can form a meaningful, strong and lasting relationship with them. I believe that all families want the best for their child although they may not have the resources or strategies necessary to provide it. My goal is to be that for the families I work for.

One goal I would like to set for the early childhood field in relation to diversity is to require diversity training on a yearly basis. When I was in college, the idea of diversity was not addressed. Perhaps the thought was that in wasn’t important in relation to academics, curriculum or classroom management. However, I believe ALL teachers should have training on diversity and working with families from various backgrounds.

Finally, I would like to say thank you to my colleagues. I have sincerely enjoyed reading your posts and discussions on the board.  It has been eye opening reading your personal experiences and thoughts on the weekly topics. I have learned so much from all of you and I hope we have future classes together.

Amber

Welcoming Families Around the World

The family I am working with is from Israel.  In order to be culturally responsive towards this family I conducted research on Israel to learn about their values and customs. 

The people of Israel generally celebrate Jewish holidays; therefore, I will make sure to include these holidays in celebration. I will provide books, pictures, coloring pages, etc that are reflective of the Jewish holiday’s.  We will observe these holiday’s in the classroom with celebrations as well.

Clothing is reflective of religious or political views. This may include men wearing skullcaps and women keeping their heads covered. In order to respect the family, I will ask about the importance of this and if there is any other important information I need to be aware of. I will incorporate books and pictures of children and families wearing this type of clothing.  

Many families are considered nuclear; however, in some families women and men live separately.  In order to be culturally responsive towards this family, I will ask if the husband or wife is the person of contact when it comes to providing information about their child.  Grandparents are also included in this nuclear family so I will include them in interactions if necessary.

Families from Israel are information with their social interactions. In some instances, they may be considered rude.  Being aware of this will help manage my expectations of interactions when meeting for conferences or other school related activities. Please and thank you are not spoken often, therefore, children may not use these terms as comfortably as children from the United States. As a teacher, I need to be aware and respectful of this and realize it is not out of disrespect.

            Being culturally aware of this family and preparing for their needs will help interactions run smoothly. It allows me to be educated and respectful of their culture. My awareness and desire to learn more will show the family that I am interested in learning about their culture. My hope is that the relationship between family and school will be strong.